Who Am I? Just a Mother With a Passion

Don’t you just love it when the Lord starts putting all the pieces together for you! I’ve been praying about what I feel like He is calling me to do, besides being a wife and homeschooling mother. Honestly, I’ve doubted that I was hearing Him correctly. So I have been dragging my feet and explaining to Him all the reasons why it might not work out. Then this morning as I was praying, I kept getting distracted by the words to the song, “Who Am I” and I seemed unable to stay focused. Just as I was about to get really annoyed with myself, I realized that the song held the answers to my dilemma; it wasn’t a distraction at all, it was the answer!

For the last few months I have felt led to start blogging, so we set up the website, and we changed the website, then we changed it again a few more times. Lots of time was spent on the details but I have done very little blogging! I had all kinds of great ideas of what I wanted to write before we had a place to post it, but as soon as we got it set up those ideas seemed to vanish. Then the doubts began to creep in, who would read it, do I have anything worth saying, and most importantly, who am I that I should write to encourage others. So I’ve been stuck on that “Who am I” issue, because the truth is, I am:
• A wife that fails to show her husband how much she values and appreciates him
• Just an ordinary mom, with a few more children than the average
• A homeschooling mother that still struggles in the simple things
• A backslidden health food nut, for too many rounds to count
• A farm girl that struggles to grow a small garden
• A woman after God’s heart, who recognizes her need for a Savior each and every day
• Someone that tries to walk in the Spirit, but allows the flesh to win out too often

So when faced with the reality of just who I really am, it seemed unlikely that the Father would call me to blog to share our life with others. Yet, I couldn’t let go of the idea completely because in spite of the list above, I am also:
• A firm believer in the benefits of homeschooling, with a strong desire to encourage other mothers in this area
• Have a heart to share what I’ve learned in my 20 years of homeschooling
• A mother that has learned from her mistakes and is constantly trying to improve her parenting skills
• A woman that loves the Lord with her whole heart, who will not stop seeking to live a life that brings Him glory, no matter how many times I stumble along the way
• Wanting to see the Fruit of the Spirit increasing in my life daily
• Desiring to experience the joy of seeing all of my children walking in the truth.

But is that enough to overcome the first list of obstacles? These are the thoughts I have been pondering the past few months, trying to figure it all out! Finally, as I prayed and the words to the song seeped into my brain, I got it, the answer I had been waiting for! It’s not about who I am, it’s all about who He is! It’s not about my accomplishments; it’s all about what He has done! He is the one who took me from someone that thought homeschooling was entirely too weird, to a homeschooling die hard; a mother that had a complete family after two children, to one that has eight and would joyfully embrace more. He is the one who has transformed my life and is still at work in me!

Finally, the pieces of the puzzle fit together and I get it! This blog is to be a place to encourage mothers in their high calling, to encourage them to love their husbands and their children, to help them see that the struggles of today will only last for a season, and to share from our lives, our adventures, and our mistakes the joys and blessings that come along with seeking to live a Fruitful Life! This is a modern way for the older woman to help the younger woman. It’s not because the older one is perfect and has all the answers, but because she has been around long enough to realize how much she has yet to learn. It’s because she loves the younger ones enough to share from her heart! I am thankful that the Lord has given me understanding and clarity in what He is calling me to do, and I hope that it will be a blessing to others, old and young.

Here are the lyrics to the Casting Crowns song “Who Am I?” and here is a link in case you want to listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=othmFqaw0Yk

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I’m calling
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling
And You’ve told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I’m calling
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling
And You’ve told me who I am
I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I’m calling
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling
And You’ve told me who I am
I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
‘Cause I am Yours
I am Yours